From a pure heart

2007-08-15T13:34:00.000-05:00

I'm moving!

But it's not far away, don't worry! Ever since Blogger updated their site, my blog hasn't quite jived with things. So, I've moved over to the newer version to make things easier on myself. You won't notice a big difference... just a minor address change. As the telephone operator says when you've dialed a wrong number, "please make a note of it."

http://fromapureheart2.blogspot.com/

I'll leave this blog up for a couple weeks but will be deleting it soon, and all new posts will be at my new address starting today. I can't wait to see you there!

2007-08-13T14:43:00.000-05:00

Consumed

Lately I feel so different. I feel like myself, but a better version of me. Like I just opened up my heart, ripped out the woman I was created to be and met her for the first time. I only got here through facing some ugly things about myself and finally saying "no more." No more settling, no more compromise, no more excuses, no more ordinary life. I want more. I would never be here, however, if it wasn't for the awesome grace of God.

It's a crazy feeling, this whole "being truly free" thing. I'm feeling and experiencing God in a whole new way. I feel short of breath when I start thinking of Him. My heart starts beating faster, and my stomach starts turning. At random times during everyday moments I all of a sudden feel so overwhelmed by His grace and His love that I just want to shout, sometimes cry. I calm myself down so I don't startle whoever is around me through a sudden shout or a burst into tears of joy. But I just don't know how much longer I can keep calm! I now understand, more than I ever have, how Jeremiah felt when He said, "His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." No exaggeration, I feel like I'm just about to explode!

It's exciting to feel this way as a matured believer. I remember feeling this way when I was a babe in Christ, pulled out of a pit and a life of hurt and disgust and brought into the light. But it's so awesome to know that I can feel this way again, and that it's even stronger... and I pray this never wanes. I know that staying at this place, however, is my choice. I have to be the one to make the conscious decision to keep this fire aflame. No one else -- not even God -- can keep me here. Only I can do that.

I've always loved the DC Talk song "Consume me." The lyrics go, "You consume me, You consume me, like a burning flame running through my veins..." I promise, there is no better feeling in this world than to be consumed by the Maker of all things. (Not even sex or a mind-blowing orgasm! There, I said it. It's true!)

I'm so overwhelmed by His grace, by His love... I just can't keep it in! I just have to have Him. More of Him. I can't get enough.

From my heart,

2007-07-25T15:01:00.000-05:00

Declaration of Dependence

One of the many lessons I've learned in my walk with Christ is that when I'm on the point of breakthrough in my life, right when I'm about to "jump in," so to speak, something comes my way as a distraction. It can be a number of things: a guy, a family conflict, a financial crisis, whatever. But it's always something.

The mistake I've made in the past -- when I've encountered these distractions -- is that I've simply given into them. I let them do what they intended to do: distract me. And they've often caused me to lose my focus and take my eyes off of Christ. By the time I regain my focus, I find myself shaking my head and wondering where I went wrong. What just happened? Wasn't I just wholeheartedly pursuing Christ with everything within me, worshiping Him every chance I got, talking to Him every second I could find to, and chasing after everything He has in store for me? How did I get here, in this place of compromise, this place where -- all of sudden -- being with Him is a burden and second priority?

I'm not writing all of this to say that I'm at that place again. Honestly, I'm writing this because I see distractions on the horizon, and I refuse to let them overtake me this time. I refuse to take my eyes off of Christ, my Love, and cause me to pursue the things of Weslynn instead of the things of God. I refuse to put anything before Him, ever again. I'm tired of getting sidetracked by my own selfish desires. They never satisfy me anyways. Time and time again they have only mislead me, and I've ended up with no peace, no joy and no true contentment.

So I say all of this to declare that I will not lose my focus again. I will not choose to go my own way, but instead, I choose Christ. I choose to be dependent and completely reliant on Him. To chase after Him and keep my eyes on Him, my one true love.

This is my declaration of dependence.

From my heart,

2007-07-10T12:39:00.000-05:00

What do you do for fun?

I used to hate that question. Because I usually couldn't answer it -- at least not without racking my brain to remember the last really fun thing I did just for myself (which doesn't include a church event or volunteer activity). Now please don't take that last statement the wrong way. Anybody who really knows me knows that I love my church family, and I'd rather spend time with them than almost anyone else. They're my fam, my peeps, and I wouldn't trade 'em for the world. But, like all things in life, balance is necessary. And not too long ago, I didn't have that balance. If I wasn't working, I was doing something at the church. And I never made time for myself to do anything outside of these two things. I never knew how to do anything fun.

That's why I am proud to say that I have a tan. Yes, I have a tan. Now for those of you who are blessed with beautifully pigmented skin, you won't understand what that means to a white girl like me. Looking at me, you'd never know that I have Italian and Cherokee in my blood. For some reason (thanks, Dad's side of the family...), it's very difficult for me to get a tan. I have to really work at it.

So for my skin to show signs of color, it means that I've been spending some good time at the BEACH! I truly am proud of myself for taking the time out to go, just for me. Since the official start of summer three weeks ago, I have been every week. Add that to the times I went before summer officially started, and I've been about 5 or 6 times in the past month and a half. Which is a huge feat for me, considering that's more than I've been the last 3 years combined (no exaggeration)! Again, I've just never made the time until now.

Bomquita (along with Kristin and sometimes Mikey) has been my beach buddy for almost every trip, and we've truly had a blast! Dunkin' Donuts' iced coffee and Sonic's limeade have kept us hydrated and cool, and every time we go, I have so much fun. Thanks, Bom, for the good times! My buddies Hillary and Kristen have also been great sand-and-sea companions, and here's a cute shot of us at IOP last weekend.

So go ahead... ask me what I do for fun. (Go ahead!) Thanks for asking! Well, I love to chill at the beach with a good cooking magazine, soaking up some rays and digging my toes in the sand. Another favorite past time is renting a movie, popping a bag of popcorn, eating a Brown Cow, Jr. with a glass of Diet Coke at my side... and just chilling on the couch with Jade. That's really a perfect evening for me! A good two hours of uninterrupted "me" time, at home, in my PJs.

Oh, and I also love to paint! I've only painted with oil colors a few times, but it's on my list of "things I like to do for fun that I should do more often." Maybe I'll blog about that in the future...

So to answer your question, that's what I do for fun. :)

From my heart,

2007-07-09T10:35:00.000-05:00

Five things I dig about Jesus MEME!

Mary tagged me for this cute meme. The rules are simple:

1. Those tagged will share 5 things they DIG about Jesus!!
2. Those tagged will tag 5 other bloggers!

Here are my 5:

1. He's an awesome listener!

2. He has a great sense of humor... and appreciates mine!

3. His patience for me never wears thin.

4. He's rescued me from some bad situations, in both my childhood and adult life. He's that knight in shining armor to me! :)

5. He has no personality flaws that I have to "look past" in order to love Him. Unlike people, He's easy to love because He's flawless and beautiful.

I tag:

1. Hillary
2. Kristin
3. Liz
4. Pastor Clint
5. I have to bend the rules here... I don't know anybody else that hasn't already been tagged!

2007-06-15T08:54:00.000-05:00

Who's that girl?

Yep, it's me! Weslynn! Yeah, I look a little different... because I have a ROCKIN' new 'do! Woo hoo!

Check out my big adventure in the photos below:

Yes, I finally cut my hair (er, actually Scooter at Higher Image did, but you know what I meant). And I am absolutely in love with my new look! Although I refused to be afraid and chicken out, I must admit that I was a wee bit nervous. You know, a girl always has those thoughts of, "Will I be pretty without my long hair?" I don't know what it is about women, but boy are we attached to our hair! A drastic cut is a scary experience... but now that I'm on the other side, I can say with confidence that it is very freeing! I feel ten pounds lighter!

I told my mom last night that now that I've finally done what I have always been terrified of doing, my options for haircuts are now virtually limitless! I know it may sound a bit dramatic, but I feel like I just took a huge leap off of a big cliff and dove out into the ocean! Now that I've gone "all the way," I feel as if there's no more fear to hold me back. At least I know this applies to my hair and physical self... I pray it rubs off on my spirit man, too. I want to feel -- and be -- this free in every area of my life.

In closing, I'd like to give a big shout out to Scooter from Higher Image (whoot whoot!), who gave me a beautiful new look, and who was willing to put up with my school girl chuckling, photo-taking requests and nervous chatter throughout the whole thing! Aside from his obvious talent, Scooter is popular for two reasons: 1) his amazing scalp massages, and 2) his likeness to a young Kevin Bacon. Here's his card, if you're interested in calling upon his wonderful services:

Happy Friday everyone!

From my heart,

2007-06-04T13:39:00.000-05:00

Put down the calendar.

As long as I can remember, I've been a planner. I remember one of the first times I wrote down my daily schedule. I think I was in middle school. I actually wrote down everything I wanted to do that day and calculated the time it would take to accomplish each task. It looked something like this: "9:00 - wake up. 9:10 - jump in shower. 9:15 - out of shower, blow dry hair, brush teeth, etc. 9:40 - put on clothes..." and so on. You get the picture. My scheduling of things to the minute was just a bit obsessive.

Although I quickly learned that life isn't always so easy to plan, that mindset of having things scheduled stuck with me. I know I can't plan my days to the minute anymore, but sometimes I still want to plan my life and map it out, put it on paper. And that's something -- yes, another thing -- the Lord has been working with me on lately. He's been showing me that I have to learn to wait on His perfect timing and stop relying on my own.

Which is hard for me, honestly. Because I really, really like my timing! I love my little red leather date book. There's a feeling of relief when I write something down on one of its pages. I hate that feeling you get when you realize you forgot a task or an appointment. So when I use my date book, I feel like I'm safe from forgetting something. See, this all links to back to trusting the Lord, yet again (since I'm talking about trusting His timing here). Why do I have such a hard time believing that He won't forget me? I get so annoyed with myself when I don't trust Him. People say trust is earned, but there's got to be more to it than that. He's never, ever let me down and I know that, but I still have a hard time trusting. In my opinion, trust is not only earned; it has to be learned. (I feel like a professional student at this point!)

Remember the final scene in Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore? Josie is on the baseball field, hoping that Sam will come and give her her first kiss. She says, "Could I have five minutes on the clock, please?" And when the time runs out on the clock (the time she set), she completely loses heart. She assumes Sam doesn't love her, that he's not coming. And then, merely minutes later, as she stands there disappointed, Sam comes running through the bleachers and down onto the field... well, you know the rest of the story (and if you don't, rent the movie!). When I remembered this scene last week, I realized that I act like Josie sometimes. I set my own timing for things and forget to wait. But instead of a mortal man's timing, I forget to wait on God and His perfect timing. And then, like Josie, I lose heart and get discouraged when things don't happen when I think they should.

It's as if, all the while, God is saying, "Hello, yoo hoo!? Put your date book down, and take a look at mine! It looks a little different than yours. That deadline you set for April 27, I have scheduled for October 5. Don't get your panties in a wad. You're looking at the wrong calendar."

I'm learning how to put my calendar down and rely more on His. It's not an easy lesson to learn, but I'm finding that it takes a load off of me. I don't have to be in control, and there's comfort in that.

From my heart,

2007-05-23T14:37:00.000-05:00

Being more open

I've been hearing the Lord say something repeatedly to me the last couple of weeks, especially the last couple of days. I keep hearing Him say, "Be open to all of the possibilities." I'm doing my best to heed His word and really open my mind and heart to all that means, and it's been interesting. Exciting. Scary. All at the same time.

I guess I've come to realize that I'm pretty narrow-minded sometimes. Which is funny, because I've always considered myself to be an open-minded person! But when it comes to my expectations of God and how He will work in my life, I am very quick to try and figure out how certain situations will play out, what God will do. I see a crisis or a situation and I think to myself (even if I don't say/pray it), "Okay, this is how this will work out. My best guess is that God will do this..." And as a result, I limit Him tremendously. It's like, in my mind, I think I already know what He's capable of, how He'll react, and then I assume the outcome. And I get so set on how something will be that I'm not mentally open to the possibilities. Do I say that I am open? Sure. But do I really think it and believe it? Not always.

Lately, as the Lord has been whispering these encouraging words to me, I've been more aware of my tendency to do this. And it's really just a control thing, on my part. And a lack of trust. I guess deep down I'm afraid that He won't come to my rescue so I calculate what ends up being a very human response to what the Divine will do. How backwards is that? The creation trying to control the Creator... I guess it's the history of man.

Either way, I don't want to be like that anymore. And I'm so thankful that my Father knows that I need gentle prodding, gradual change. And He's so loving about it. He gently reminds me of all He's capable of and says, "Daughter, you have no idea what I can do. Let me show you." And He has. As I've mentally and spiritually opened myself more to His possibilities (and stopped trying to figure things out on my own so much), He's done amazing things, almost every day really. Little miracles. It's like He's showing off. And I choose to believe that the more I open myself to Him and to all of the possibilities, the more He'll be able to accomplish in my life. The more amazing He'll prove Himself to be.

From my heart,

2007-05-16T10:34:00.000-05:00

And the winner is...

The votes have been calculated (somewhat), and the results are in regarding my hair cut (unless I change my mind between now and June 14). A big thanks to my family and friends who offered their comments on which type of hair style would look best on me. Thanks to a very timely White House Black Market advertisement that came in the mail yesterday, I've decided on a cut that one of its models sported. I believe it's a nice combination of all of the styles I posted last week...

If you'd like to see a couple different angles of the same hair cut, check out the catalog online. They style it a few different ways, and I think it's absolutely adorable! (Scroll through the virtual pages by clicking "next" on the bottom right of the page.)

Again, this is tentative. I am a woman and therefore reserve the right to change my mind. ;)

I'll most likely keep my hair the color it is now, or maybe even go a bit lighter.

Whatcha think?

From my heart,

2007-05-14T08:53:00.000-05:00

Learning to trust

I noticed something really cool as I read Psalm 57 this morning. David is crying out to the Lord here, pretty much venting about the attacks he's getting on all sides from his enemies. He begins asking for the Lord's mercy in the midst of his crisis:

1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.
2 I cry out to God Most High,
to God, who fulfills {his purpose} for me.
3 He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me;
Selah
God sends his love and his faithfulness.
4 I am in the midst of lions;
I lie among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.

What's interesting to me is the rest of his prayer. After he talks to the Lord about his need, he then starts praising Him:

5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.

Then David shares his heart concerning his dire situation a little more:

6 They spread a net for my feet—
I was bowed down in distress.
They dug a pit in my path—
but they have fallen into it themselves.
Selah

And then David starts worshipping the Lord for his goodness again, and basically tells Him, "I won't lose heart. I'm going to keep on praising you despite the madness that's going on my life right now."

7 My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
8 Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
9 I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.

And then David ends his prayer, his cry, with more worship to the Father. It's like he got so wrapped up in the thought of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness that He almost forgot about the crisis that was consuming his thoughts just moments earlier. How amazing.

I think David understood what it meant to surrender his problems to the Lord. He knew what it meant to not dwell on them, to not be consumed by them. He knew how to push through in worship until everything else faded away. And the cool thing is that David didn't feel the need to close His conversation with the Lord with, "Oh, and please don't forget about that stuff I was telling you about earlier." He already knew it was in the Father's hands, and he truly trusted Him.

I want to have that kind of trust in the Lord!

From my heart,

2007-05-09T10:17:00.000-05:00

Sianara, Charlie Brown!

So I've decided to cut my hair. Although I donned a shorter haircut a couple years ago, I've never really taken the plunge and chopped it all off like I've wanted to for years. When I was 16 years old, I was fascinated with the pixie cut. I admired girls who had the courage to go with such a fun and funky 'do. One day I was walking through the mall with my high school buddy Mike when I saw this girl with a cute blonde pixie cut. I said, "Ooooh, Mike, look at her hair! I'd love to cut my hair like that!" And he lovingly replied, "Wes, you couldn't pull off that haircut. You have a Charlie Brown head." As you can imagine, that memory was burned into my memory. I've been self-conscious about my face ever since then. I've always felt like I have this huge head. Lately, however, I've been looking at myself differently. I'm tired of being afraid to cut my hair like I've wanted to for -- gosh -- 12 years... simply because of something some silly teenage boy said to me back in high school!

So I've been studying my face in the mirror a lot lately. Not out of vanity, but trying to see myself in a new way. I'm learning to appreciate my full, round face. And to be quite honest, I think I'm pretty! And I believe that I can pull off that pixie cut! And if I don't like it, guess what? It's hair. It grows back. I've got endless opportunities to change my style, so I'm going to take the plunge and just do it. When my hair guy (shout out to Scooter!) cuts my hair, I'm going to envision him chopping off every negative comment I've ever heard -- or spoken -- about myself and my appearance. I'm excited. I think this experience will be very liberating!

So, my friends, this is where you come in. To the left I have posted a few pics of hair cuts I like, and I'd like to hear your opinion. Post a comment and let me know which style you think would look best on me.

The big day is scheduled for June 14, so I have time to decide. But I'd love to hear your thoughts in the meantime!

From my healing heart,

2007-05-03T11:56:00.000-05:00

Take-your-daughter-to-work Day

There's just been so much going on lately that I haven't known exactly what to blog about! So I'm going to just start writing and see what comes out... :)

First of all, the Lord is up to some good stuff at our church. It's like every where we turn, we see His hand. He's blessing every ministry, new and exciting things are happening every day, and it's just hard to keep up with all He's been doing!

Personally, He's been blessing me by opening new doors of opportunity to do the things I love for the kingdom. I just recently finished working on one of many graphics projects for the youth department, and I'm having a blast being creative and getting more involved with church graphics. (Thanks to Careise for taking the photo of me with the Uno card I designed!)

I'm also excited to see all that's going to come of the jam sessions we (Andrew, Art, and I) have been having. We've been helping some young musicians (ages 12-16) polish their gifts, and pretty soon they will form a live worship band for our children's ministry. How cool is that?! The Lord has really been teaching me firsthand what a blessing it is to pour into other believers and help them find their place in the body. It really is better to give than to receive! I'm learning that more and more every day.

So in a nutshell, I'm just thankful for all that God is doing... in my personal life, in my family, and in my local church. There's nothing cooler than walking with my Father as He goes about His daily work! :)

From my heart,

2007-03-30T12:51:00.000-05:00

Spring is in the air

The smell of jasmine. Seersucker suits. Azaleas in bloom. Itchy, watery eyes. There's no doubt that Spring in the Lowcountry has officially arrived.

I've been keenly aware the past few weeks of the effect this season has had on me. I've put more effort into selecting my outfits for the following day, trying to incorporate a jolt of color and get away from the browns and neutrals of seasons past. I've been cooking with vegetables more. I've grown tired of the fall colors in my living room and desperately want to replace the green and orange accents with red and purple (by the way, you wouldn't think finding purple throw pillows would be so difficult! It's like they don't exist!).

So today at lunch when Beth commented, "I want so badly to go shopping for all new clothes!" I wasn't surprised at all. I've had the itch for weeks! (And it's not just because I'm a woman.) There truly is something special about springtime that makes you want to throw out (or pack away) the old and replace it with something new, something fresh. New clothing, new throw pillows, new recipes... even new ideas. In the last month alone, two of my friends have taken the first few steps at starting new businesses that they've only dreamt about up until now. And I, too, have been busy jotting down ideas for this future communications business I'm dreaming up. It's just a great time for "new-ness."

The bittersweet thing about Spring is that -- like the other seasons of the year -- it doesn't last. There will only be one Spring 2007 (sounds like I'm referring to a fashion collection) and once it's gone... it's gone. There's nothing more frustrating than missing a season of opportunity in your life and not doing those things that you've always dreamt of (whether they're spiritual, financial, physical, social, whatever). And then to realize, "I missed it." I've decided to take advantage of this beautiful time -- to try new recipes, buy a few new items for my wardrobe, start a container garden on my patio... and find the purple pillows I want! :)

From my heart,

2007-03-20T09:10:00.000-05:00

I found this cute test on Mary's blog (which reminds me of similar ones I completed in Teen magazine when I was younger). I scored 41 points. Here are my results:

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing,practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head.They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk…
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you…
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with…
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with…
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You’re working very hard, concentrating hard, and you’re interrupted…
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are.
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are…
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10.(a) 4 (b) 2 ( c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f)1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should “handle with care.” You’re seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. ** **Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don’t always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.**

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who’s quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful &practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and the n, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn’t want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don’t exist. Some people think you’ re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren’t.

2007-02-14T13:37:00.000-05:00

Press-ure release

This morning I was working on a press release, my most dreaded of tasks. It's one of those job duties that I just don't look forward to. Write a magazine article? I'm on it like white on rice. Design a brochure? Love it! Consider it done. But ask me to write a press release? I want to crawl under my desk and hide. It's one of those things that I typically push to the bottom of the stack until I absolutely have to do it.

I was trying to work through this releaseaphobia (self-coined term, if you didn't notice) a few weeks back, and I thought I had figured out the source of my fear: not being confident in my own writing skills. Although that was part of it, today I realized that there was more to it than that.

So I was meeting with my boss, John, this morning about this release I was starting, and I was asking for his advice on the outline. During our conversation, we started talking about our personal writing styles -- his being more factual and to the point, and mine being more human interest, more like a magazine article. And finally I fessed up. "I dread these press releases," I admitted. "I just feel like they're so boring, and I have to stick to the same outline every time. There's no room for creativity."

There. I said it. What I didn't expect was his response. "Well, Weslynn, go with what feels right. Make it more human interest, if you'd like. There's nothing that says you have to write press releases the way I do. I write using that outline because I'm a more factual writer, but your style is different. Write the release how it feels most natural to you."

I can't explain the light bulb that went off in my head at that moment. It was like I heard angels singing and the sun came beaming through the window as a dove flew by. (Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic.) Seriously though, John's words of wisdom made me realize what I've been doing this whole time: trying to squeeze myself into somebody else's box. In a sense, I've been playing copy cat with my work. I've been limiting myself by shying away from my own style, my own creativity. I've had this subconscious thought that my writing had to be like his in order to be right. But truth be know, there is no right. There's just different.

It was a very liberating moment for me. I believe that this epiphany will help me do a better job at work and become more confident in the materials I produce. But it also caused me to ponder how I may be limiting myself in other areas of my life. When I get dressed in the morning, am I expressing who I am, or am I copying somebody else's sense of fashion? When it comes to ministry, am I trying to be like everybody else, or am I striving to be who God created me to be? After all, I'm an original (as we all are). Why try to be like somebody else, when I can experience the freedom of being me?

From my heart,

2007-02-05T18:21:00.000-05:00

It's so hard to say good bye
My time in England has come to an end. It's about 11:30 p.m. right now (that's 6:30 p.m. for those of you on the east coast), and I'm bundled up on the couch at my dad's writing this blog. I'm sad to go. Of course I will be glad to get home to my sweet kitty Jade and to all my friends and family... but I'm sad to leave my dad and other mom so soon. It feels like I just got here yesterday and already a week has passed. Time truly does fly when you're having fun, especially when you're spending it with those you love.

On a lighter note, today was a wonderful day. We shopped at a mall in Cambridge (which is about 15 minutes from my dad's house), and I got to visit my favorite clothing store -- H&M! I fell in love with this store years ago in Belgium, and it's always a "must do" for me when I'm near one because their clothes are so stylish, yet very affordable. I stocked up on a few staple pieces (a few light sweaters, a silk blouse, a headband, a pair of sunglasses) and also picked up a red, very chic "Jackie O"-style jacket at another cool store. I always love shopping in Europe because styles are typically a bit ahead of the U.S. A girl's gotta stay a step ahead of the rest, you know. ;)

Afterwards we stopped for lunch at a cute cafe because I had to have a scone with cotted cream before I left. It was so yummy! And the tea (with local honey) was good too.

After lunch and a quick stop at the base, we headed home and enjoyed some fun family time for the rest of the evening. Tomorrow dad will head back to work (he took Friday and Monday off) while Mrs. Donna and I head to the airport, bright and early at 7:00 a.m. Please keep me in your prayers. I get in on Tuesday evening and report to work on Wednesday morning, so please pray that I'll be refreshed and not too jet-lagged!

Love you all, my fam and friends!

From my heart,

2007-02-04T08:09:00.000-05:00

City girl

Well, my time in London is over... but it was a blast!

We arrived at our hotel in London on Friday afternoon and took the tube into the city after getting settled in and a bit spiffied up. We ate dinner at a "carvery" called Albert and Victoria's, where we dined on carved roast beef, ham and turkey, as well as yorkshire pudding, cauliflower casserole and some other veggies. For dessert, I had a yummy Belgian waffle with bananas, caramel and whipped cream.

Afterwards, we headed to the Apollo Victoria Theatre to see Wicked. There are really no words to describe how amazing this show was. It was the most awesome thing I've ever seen! And the story (pretty much a prequel to The Wizard of Oz) was so great! I wish I could describe how amazing it was! I'm a huge fan of musicals anyways, so seeing one live -- "the real thing" -- was a wonderful experience.

My dad and "other" mom, Donna, decided that since I loved Wicked so much, we should go see another production. So, they took me to see a matinee of The Lion King on Saturday. (It's one of their favorites. Dad had seen it twice before, Mrs. Donna once.) It was amazing too! Of course, Wicked was my favorite, but The Lion King was wonderful as well. The costumes were so crazy! The creative ways these actors and dancers portrayed animals was so neat. The hyenas, elephants, lions (of course)... they were all amazing costumes. And the story, of course, is beautiful and was just as moving "live!"

After the show, we walked around the "lovely" (insert British accent here) city some more. I snapped some great photos of Parliament and Big Ben at dusk as we headed to St. Thomas' Hospital -- where my good friend and mentor Liz was born! We were excited to finally find it. Liz' mom told her that she could see Big Ben from her hospital room window. When we got there, it was definitely the one! It was directly across the Thames River from the famous landmark. Too bad National Lampoon's European Vacation wasn't released until about 15 years later... Liz' mom could have uttered the famous movie line (slightly altered): "Look, Liz! Big Ben! Parliament!"

Topping off our evening was some window shopping followed by dinner at a cute cafe. I must say, I don't think I really understood the definition of window shopping until yesterday -- when we entered the world famous Harrod's. This is my third trip to London, but the first time I've entered the store of all stores. All I can say is... O.M.G! I felt like Julia Roberts on Rodeo Drive in Pretty Woman (minus the skimpy attire and scandalous career). Glamour, glamour, glamour. That's the best way to describe Harrod's. We only skimmed the surface of this huge store, but once we passed the Burberry and Jimmy Choo goods, it was like entering Willy Wonka's factory! Their candy and ice cream shop was a picture from a storybook! When I have kids (and if we ever head to London together), Harrod's ice cream shop will be on the list. And the next time I go to London, their sushi bar will be on my list. The 'rents don't fancy the fishy delicacy, so it will likely be a solo venture next time I visit Harrod's. :)

We left London bright and early this morning and have been enjoying this day of rest since we got home. Mrs. Donna and I have been reading, watching tv and munching, while dad is out golfing. The poor guy will need some man time... shopping is on the list for tomorrow morning! One of my favorite stores, H&M, is on the "must do" list! Tomorrow is my final full day here, before I head back on Tuesday afternoon. This time has flown by, but it's really been wonderful!

See you all soon!

From my heart,

2007-02-01T13:30:00.000-05:00

London calling

Well, I made it!

Today is technically my second day here in England, although it's my first full day. I arrived Wednesday morning and spent the afternoon at the house napping and hanging out with my dad and stepmom.

Tomorrow afternoon we head to London for the weekend, and we'll be seeing Wicked tomorrow night! I'm so excited! I've been wanting to see this show for a while! It will also be nice to have two full days to explore the city, both during the day and at night. I've always loved exploring cities at night. They're so enchanting! I'll be sure to take lots of pictures and hope to post some as soon as I get back -- probably Sunday evening.

See you all soon!

From my travelling heart,

2007-01-25T16:09:00.000-05:00

Time to dream

Since my last entry, I've been thinking a lot about the one goal I didn't meet last year -- pursuing a freelance graphic design career. I chose not to "renew" this goal for 2007, because I didn't want to add it to my list simply because I didn't meet it last year. I want to be sure that it's the right time before I start heading in that direction, if you know what I mean.

But still, it's been on my mind. I went to Barnes & Noble last weekend and flipped through design books while I sipped on some hot tea. I ordered more memory for my laptop to make room for my Adobe design programs, which I installed last week. And while helping plan my high school reunion, I was reunited, earlier in the week, with an old classmate who is a graphic junkie like me. It's been neat to email back and forth about our similar freelance goals and to realize that she has a lot of the same questions that I do about how to get started. We're going to meet up for coffee soon to discuss how we can learn together. How opportune, huh?

So I've decided to start putting my ideas about this freelance thing down on paper and to map it out. It seems like there's so much to do: write a business plan, design a logo, figure out how I'll market myself, and so on and so forth. God's timing is all so neat, though. In the midst of all this graphics stuff rolling around in my head, I have the perfect opportunity to get it all out, since next week is my vacation to England to visit my Dad and (other) Mom. Although we will spend the weekend in London (we're going to see "Wicked"!), the rest of the time will pretty much be "down time" for me. A perfect opportunity to focus on my dreams without distraction and the worries of everyday life knocking on my door saying, "Weslynn, there are more important things to worry about right now." Next week I get to indulge in my dreaming... a real treat for me! :)

Speaking of my trip, I hope to blog while I'm there (maybe more often than I do at home!) and maybe even post some pics from my trip. As the Brits say, it will be "lovely!"

From my heart,

2007-01-04T10:32:00.000-05:00

Score!

I finalized my goals for 2007 last week. I just love goals. Really, I do! They give you something to work towards, a target to aim for. Without goals, my brain gets fuzzy and I'm easily distracted. If I didn't set some for myself and my life, I'd probably end up sitting at home all day, watching Mama's Family reruns, eating nothing but chips and salsa, and letting my hair naturally turn into dreads. It wouldn't be a pretty picture.

All jokes aside, I will say that I was uber-excited to review my goals for the year-now-gone and to find that I met all but one of five. It was a great feeling to see the progress I've made in these specific areas of my life! I exceeded my financial ones by leaps and bounds, made great progress on my physical and spiritual ones, and the career-related one that I didn't meet... well, I just don't believe it was God's timing. Basically, I wanted to work on pursuing a freelance graphic design career. No, I'm not planning on quitting my job. I love my job! But I'd love to do more graphic design on the side and potentially build a business over time. My dream is to own my own business one day, so that when I'm married and starting a family, I'll have the option of working from home and doing something I love at the same time. But again, I don't know if this is in God's plan for me, so it's something I'm praying about.

Either way, I'm very excited about having some fresh goals to work on in 2007! I put a lot of prayer and thought into them... and I believe that if (actually, I'd prefer to say when) I meet these goals, I'll be a brand new Weslynn!

From my heart,

2006-12-27T11:00:00.000-05:00

Christmas in retrospect

Is it already over? Yep, it's December 27 , and Christmas 2006 has officially passed. It's time to start putting away the Christmas decorations (something I'm not looking forward to) and decide on my goals for the upcoming year (something I always look forward to!).

Looking back on all of the events of Christmas makes me think of the new traditions I'd like to start with my own family one day. There are, of course, many of my family's (er, families') traditions that I'll want to continue. Spontaneous trips to drive around and look at Christmas lights (which is often done in your pajamas) are always going to be a part of my family's celebration (thanks to mom for this one)! And a yummy glass of egg nog on Christmas Day will be as well, thanks to my Nanny Chubb.

But there are other traditions I'd like to start with my "future family." Caroling on Christmas Eve, for example. Singing songs together at home on Christmas Day. Making (and baking) homemade gifts together. Reading the Christmas story and taking the time to meditate on Christ's birth and how He humbled Himself to become a man and offer salvation to all humanity. Of all of the things I want to do with my family, the latter is the most important to me. I still struggle with keeping my mind Christ-focused on Christmas Day. I so often get caught up in all the hoopla that I forget to really devote my thoughts to Him on His special day. My prayer is that God will prepare me to be a godly mother, so that when it's time for me start my own family, my life will be an example and I'll be ready to teach my children what Christmas is all about.

From my heart,

2006-12-05T09:31:00.000-05:00

Fat-free, guilt-free giving

I absolutely love the Christmas season. I love having an excuse to bake up a storm, eating more than I typically would, spending time with family and going to all of the festive parties. But as much as I love this holiday, the gift-giving aspect tends to stress me out. And, by golly, I just don't think that's right! I've been trying to figure out for years why I get so stressed out about giving. I mean, I love finding that perfect gift for someone and then watching their reaction when they open it. I love browsing through the stores until I find exactly what I was looking for, and then taking it home and wrapping it up with ribbons and bows. So if I love all of that so much, what exactly is it about giving that makes me so tense?

I think I figured it out this morning when I was in the shower. The thought came to me while I was pondering an idea of something I want to make for my family and friends this year, a homemade gift. But as I envisioned myself handing out these gifts, I pictured in my mind their disappointment when they opened it. I pictured them thinking, "What? This is it? I spent more money on her gift than she did for mine." So standing there, washing my hair, I thought through all of this. In years past, this same picture has popped in my mind (of people being disappointed with my gift). Instead of thinking through my reasoning, I immediately gave into my own doubts and said to myself, "Well, I'll show them. I'll give the best gifts I can and spare no expense." And although this plan may have relieved some mental stress for me, it only transferred it to another area of my life: my finances. I gave more than I could reasonably afford to. And, no, I'm not bragging here. I'm saying to myself, "Gee, how stupid was that?" When giving becomes more about proving a point than sharing from your heart, it's rooted in pride. After all, God loves a cheerful giver, not a proud giver.

So I decided this morning in the shower that from now on, my goal is to give truly of myself, from my heart, within my means, and no more than that. I have to stop seeking other's approval of what I have to give. Truth be told, I doubt my family and friends will think badly of me for giving them something homemade. I know that's just a stupid, lying voice trying to tell me that what I have to give is not good enough. And I know that's not true. I guess the best way to get over this fear (of rejection, ugh, hate to admit it) is to face it head-on.

So let the homemade gift-making begin! I'm ready to prove that lying voice wrong... and give the people I love something truly from my heart.

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. - 2 Corinthians 9:7

From my heart,

2006-11-30T11:26:00.000-05:00

Thursday Thirteen

A big thanks to my buddy, Mary, who really has this whole blogging thing down. And who gives me great ideas on how to get the wheels turning! This theme of posting 13 of my random thoughts was "borrowed" from her blog... :)

I feel really full. I just ate yesterday's lunch leftovers -- General Tso's chicken with pork fried rice. It was great, but I feel incredibly bloated.
I could easily spend my entire month's pay on Christmas decorations! Every store I walk into is loaded with the cutest things, and I'm having to practice major discipline to not snatch up everything I see...
I can't believe it's almost December and it's close to 80 degrees outside.
I'll be 28 in 1 week and 2 days. My, how time flies...
Jade better stop breaking things. In the last week, he's broken both a ceramic vase and the little flap that covers the lens on my digital camera. I've also been finding squished grape tomatoes around the house, under tables and things. Apparently he discovered my onion/tomato dish in the kitchen...
I can't wait to go see the holiday lights at James Island County Park this year! I want to ride Santa's train and roast marshmallows with all the kids!
I can't wait to go to England to visit my Dad and my "other" mom, Donna! Only 2 months and 1 day! I better start saving money...
Actually, I'll see them before then, in North Carolina for Christmas!
I wish it would REALLY snow here (last weeks flurries didn't count). I want a snow day off tomorrow.
I really need to clean my bathroom.
What is Pamela Anderson going to look like in 20 years?
I know that Pamela Anderson thought seems totally random, but now that she's in the news because of her and Kid Rock's divorce, I just wonder how she'll look (and function) when she really starts to age...
I love this jazzy online Christmas station I found! I'm listening to Billie Holiday sing "I've got my love to keep me warm" right now.

2006-11-29T10:19:00.000-05:00

A to Z Meme

A - Available/Single? Yep
B - Best Friend? I can't pick just one!
C- Cake or Pie? Pie (Lemon meringue, banana cream...)
D - Drink Of Choice? Coffee (AM), ginger ale (PM)
E - Essential Item You Use Everyday? Shampoo. I wish I could get by without washing my hair everyday like some people, but it won't let me...
F - Favorite Color? It used to be yellow, but now I find myself drawn to olive and celadon green.
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Worms
H - Hometown? Summerville, SC
I - Indulgence? Cooking and decorating magazines
J - January Or February? January -- new beginnings
K - Kids & Their Names? Not quite yet... :)
L - Life Is Incomplete Without? Jesus in my life
M - Marriage Date? Not quite yet... :)
N- Number Of Siblings? 1 "real" sister, 3 stepsisters and 1 stepbrother
O - Oranges Or Apples? Oranges
P - Phobias/Fears? Falling down stairs. Although it's getting better...
Q - Favorite Quote? What is revealed is healed!
R - Reason to Smile? Holidays and vacation time!!!
S - Season? I usually say Spring or Fall, but I'm enjoying this one so much, let's say Winter this time.
T - Tag Three People? All my blogging friends have already been tagged, I think.
U - Unknown Fact About Me? In addition to my first name, I also take my middle name from my Dad. His middle name is Govan; mine is Vanessa. :)
V - Vegetable you don't like? I love 'em all!
W - Worst Habit? Letting things grow in my bathroom before I decide to clean it.
X - X-rays You've Had? Dental, spinal
Y - Your Favorite Food? Greek (I love cooking with feta, artichokes, olives, anything Mediterranean)
Z - Zodiac Sign? Sagittarius

2006-11-28T13:23:00.000-05:00

All rats go to heaven

Wow, my sanguine personality has really shown off this past couple of weeks through my lack of blogging. Sorry it's been so long! Can I use the holidays as an excuse? Didn't think so... well, hey, I tried! Where do I begin? I'm a storyteller at heart, and there is so much to say, I could be here for DAYS!

I suppose I'll start with a story about a rat named Stinky. Stinky lived in downtown Charleston. His favorite past time was rummaging through the dumpster and finding a gourmet meal amidst the scraps. He also had a particular weakness for women. So when Stinky found an office that looked like a big pink dumpster and had three lovely ladies working inside, he thought he had found heaven on earth. If only Stinky would have known how close to rat heaven he was...

One day, Stinky decided to play a game of hide-and-go-seek with the exterminator in the big pink dumpster house, and he won! He felt like a real man. He heard the exterminator tell the three ladies of their fun game, and he was surprised at their reaction. "You mean, they don't want me here?" Stinky thought to himself. He was crushed. Shortly after his heart break, Stinky died of heart failure. Although he left this world alone, Stinky left a legacy...

... a stench that could be smelled all the way to Toledo!

Translation: Yep. A nasty, dead rat was discovered in the wall, under the duct work, in our office this morning. And I thought the palmetto bugs were nasty!!! Ugh...

From my grateful-the-rat-is-gone-and-now-I-can-breathe heart,

2006-11-15T10:30:00.000-05:00

More than a Father

Wow, it's been almost a week since my last post. Sorry I've been so slack!

Oh, the holidays... it's really all that's on my mind lately! The stores are already filled with the cutest holiday decorations, and I'm having to practice great discipline to hold myself back from buying every cute little doodad I see! Needless to say, I'm very excited about the upcoming holidays and the time I get to spend with family and friends.

At the same time, however, I'm having to really push myself to balance all of this excitement and stay "hooked in" with the Lord and my personal time with Him. It's so easy to be distracted by other things (despite how innocent they are), to focus too much energy into them.. and again, leave God the scraps of my time, energy and even thoughts. And although our church has been in revival all week, and I've been there every night since Sunday, I know that those services can't replace the time I need with Him -- just me and Him.

Speaking of needing Him, the revival speaker at our church said something so profound on Monday night. He said that God is looking for people who not only recognize their need for Him, but who really want Him. I'd never quite thought of it that way before, but it makes perfect sense. To me, it's like the difference between a parent-child relationship and a husband-wife relationship. Knowing God as my Father is awesome, yes, but what He truly longs for is for me to have the passion for Him that a wife has for her husband. For our relationship to go beyond something I know I need, and instead be something that I deeply desire. My desire -- and my challenge to myself -- is to take my relationship with Him to that next level. I want more.

From my heart,

2006-11-09T12:51:00.000-05:00

When Thursday turns into Friday

Yesterday I discovered (thanks to my knowledgeable carpool buddies) that Friday I have the day off from work! I didn't even realize that tomorrow is Veteran's Day. I typically keep holidays marked on my calendar (in bold, nonetheless), so that I'm fully prepared for my day off. I was glad that I didn't have this one marked though. It was a great surprise!

Since today is basically like a Friday for me, I'm kicking off my weekend after work today with my buddies Beth, Mandy and Margaret. We're meeting up for Mexican grub at Senor Tequila's in West Ashley, and then we're going to start our Christmas decoration shopping by heading to the fun, discount places -- Big Lots, Marshall's and TJ Maxx. What fun! I've got some new ideas for how to decorate my place this year, and I can't wait to get started!

After an evening with the girls, I plan on going home and watching whatever movie is in the mail from Blockbuster (hopefully "The New World" is in!). And tomorrow... I'm just going to CHILL! And do some way overdue laundry... I may even start some of my holiday baking! I've got some great recipes from my Bon Appetit magazine that I can't wait to try. Individual chocolate lava cakes, ginger pumpkin cheesecake (a little different from my usual), chocolate peppermint stars,dark chocolate truffles... oh my! The hard part will be deciding which one to make first!

Before I get all carried away in how I'll spend Veteran's Day (oh, wait, I already have), let me stop and express my gratitude for all of the veterans who have served our country (especially since my Dad is one! Thanks, Dad!). Here's a link to the history of Veteran's Day as well, for your reading pleasure.

From my heart,

2006-11-06T11:39:00.000-05:00

Mary Poppins and the Three Stooges

This past weekend was not a typical one for me. While I would typically spend my weekend doing "single girl" things, I had the pleasure of watching over 3 kids. Talk about breaking away from the usual! :) This is my second or third time watching Wyn (13), Ashton (11) and Brianne (9) for my good friends Liz and Pastor Clint, while they were away in Myrtle Beach at our church's annual couple's retreat (with about 40 other couples from our church). Hanging with these three is always fun... and interesting!

Saturday morning I played soccer mom at Ashton's game at the YMCA field. I got to briefly experience a parent's pride when he scored the first goal! It was a very intense game that ended in a tie (2-2) and kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time (which is a big deal considering I'm not a sports fan at all)! It was also neat making the human "tunnel" with the other parents for the team to run through after the game.

After Ashton's game and lunch back at the Knowles home, we headed downtown to Market Street for some Ben & Jerry's ice cream (their peanut butter and chocolate is awesome!). We then walked down to Market Street Sweets and each fixed ourself a bag of our favorite candies (mine: gummies!). Gotta load up on the sugar! :) Our final destination was the Charleston IMAX, where we caught the 6:00 showing of Sharks 3D. The film was a little more than Brianne had anticipated, and after about 2 minutes of the movie, she took off her 3D glasses because she was afraid of the sharks. I immediately felt like such a failure! I tried to convince her to put her glasses back on, that the sharks weren't going to jump out at her... they were just swimming around. But she wasn't hearing it. I asked her if she was okay, and she said yes. So I told her that if she wanted to hold my hand, she could. She didn't respond, so I decided to let her be. About five minutes later, she tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear with her sweet, soft voice, "I'll put my glasses back on, but only if you'll hold my hand." My heart almost leaped outside of my chest! I put my hand on her leg, she put her glasses back on and then tightly gripped my hand with both of her little hands. That moment was most definitely the highlight of the weekend for me! (To truly appreciate this, you must understand that Brianne is the most strong-willed of the three. Her humility was so precious!) Holding her hand in that theatre for the rest of the movie was so sweet!

Now Wyn... he's 13, and this kid's got it together, so the most I felt needed by him was when he asked to borrow my hairspray on Sunday morning. Hey, I'll take what I can get! He was a huge help (as usual) and was a real goofball with his silly gangsta impressions. He was cracking me up all weekend!

Going back to my quiet home on Sunday evening was kind of sad, after spending a weekend with the three little rascals. The only pitter patter of feet I heard were my own (and Jade's), and it seemed way too quiet without giggling and screaming. I actually missed the little boogers! Some people say that babysitting for a single gal is the best birth control out there... but for me, it just makes me want kids more! :) One day, Weslynn... one day...

From my heart,

2006-11-02T16:16:00.000-05:00

I'm a Barbie girl

Like many other girls, I was a big Barbie fan as a kid. I enjoyed creating these dramatic, soap opera-style lives for my dolls, filled with all kinds of crises and excitement (funny how as as kids we fantasize about the realities of adult life that, later in life, we try to avoid!). More than playing "Jerry Springer" with them, however, what I really loved about Barbies was dressing them up. Changing their outfits and their shoes was the best part of it all.

I also loved playing dress-up, especially at my Nanny's house. She always had (and I believe she still does) her dresser filled with Estee Lauder cosmetics, enough jewelry to make a little girl feel like she was royalty, and the coolest clothes to play dress-up in. A trip to Nanny's was always destined to be sheer "glam-yourself-up" delight.

But something happened as I got older. I didn't like to play dress-up anymore. Makeup for me, as a teenager, was only a way to cover up acne. And jewelry? Don't even think about it. For whatever reason, I didn't like being girly as a teenager, and even throughout college. It wasn't until after I graduated college that my desire to dress a little more feminine kindled. And since then it's been small, very paced baby steps...

But now... I love it! I absolutely love being a girl! Some days when I get dressed and look in the mirror, I laugh inside and think, "Three or four years ago, I wouldn't have been caught dead in this ruffly, pastel purple shirt!" Now, however, I'm happily addicted to all things girly: ruffles, heels, skirts, fingernail polish... even dresses! Actually, I've found myself growing more and more fond of dresses. Today I took a trip to White House Black Market to simply window shop during lunch. And what did I end up with? A fabulous dress (see above)! (Hey, I have a black-tie event for work tomorrow night. Gotta look good. Good excuse.)

Today is one of those days that I thank God I'm a woman. I can't wait to zip up that dress tomorrow night, throw on some heels, pull up my hair, take my time putting on makeup (just because it's fun)... and pretend like I'm that little girl again, prancing in front of the mirror! How fun! :)

From my heart,

2006-10-30T22:43:00.000-05:00

Two lessons I learned tonight

Tonight during prayer service at church, I once again found myself victim to an intense headache. And I caught myself sitting in the service thinking, "I just want to be home. I'm in pain, and this stinks. I should just leave early." As I sat there and pondered how I could leave early and slip out the back quietly, this thought went through my mind:

"Now all day long, Weslynn, you've suffered through this headache and neck ache. You woke up this morning feeling like crap, but you pulled yourself together and went to work. You made it through the entire day just fine, and you even mustered up the strength to stop for a smoothie after work and then goof off with your carpool buddies on the way home. But now, all of a sudden, you can't take it? Interesting how that happens during a prayer service, don'tcha think? And what will you do if you go home now? Something that requires energy, I'm sure."

Ouch. Truth hurts. (My own spirit wouldn't even justify my leaving early!) So I stayed my happy little butt right there at church, but from then on I made sure my heart was in it. If I was going to be there, I was going to give as much (if not more) of myself to God as I had given to every other petty thing all day long. How come it's so easy to give of ourselves in so many areas in life (work, friends, family, etc.), yet when it comes to God, He gets our scraps? I'm learning how to give Him only my best. And that's lesson number one.

So as I sat solo in the pew, the Lord began to show me some awesome things about myself (in particular, areas I need to grow in). Good stuff, though. Some good truth for my life. And as He revealed these things to me in His gentle and loving way, He also lead a sweet sister in Christ my way to encourage me and let me know she had been praying for me. But it wasn't one of those sappy, "sister I've been praying for you" kind of moments. It was a real, I-know-God-sent-her-directly-to-me kind of moment. It was also a now-would-I-have-been-able-to-receive-that-gift-from-God-if-I-had-left-early kind of moment. Hmmmm....

And then I realized that when I give God my best, He gives me His best. Actually, He's always wanting to give me His best, but sometimes I (spiritually) duck out the back door before He has the chance to send gifts and blessings my way.

So if lesson number one is to give God my best, what's lesson number two? When I give Him my best, His best is waiting on me. In other words, if we want God's best, we must invest.

From my heart,

2006-10-27T13:16:00.000-05:00

Windmill cookies and other rainy day memories

What a rainy day. I was planning on heading to the Coastal Carolina Fair tonight with the singles' group from church, but our plans were cancelled due to today's downpour. Although I was looking forward to the ferris wheel and an elephant ear, I must say that there is nothing better than staying in on a rainy night, enjoying a hot beverage and just veggin' out.

Whenever I think of rainy weather, I think of windmill cookies and hot cocoa. I remember when I was a kid, my mom fixed the above as a treat one particular rainy night. Why this memory is so strong, I don't know. Perhaps it was something we did often, but I don't know for sure. It's one of those fuzzy memories... the kind you can't recollect completely, but that is nonetheless very memorable and very strong (funny, huh?). More than the details, however, I remember the way I felt -- warm, secure, and grateful that I had shelter from the storm.

Days like today I want nothing more than to be at home, curled up with a good book or magazine, munching on something sweet and sipping on some hot tea or coffee. Perhaps there's a reason we don't choose our weather. If we did, we'd probably all ask for clear, sunny days, and we'd never get to experience the feelings of security -- and often peace and quiet -- that come with staying in during a storm.

By the way... is it just me, or am I always talking about food? :)

From my heart,

2006-10-25T09:51:00.000-05:00

Granny at heart

I absolutely love this time of the year. Fall is upon us, the weather's getting cooler each day, and the hoidays are just around the corner. It's the time of the year for oyster roasts, pumpkin pie and jumping in a big pile of freshly-raked leaves (although the latter one I haven't done in years. Maybe it's time I do!). To me, this season is all about spoiling the senses. It's the smell of cinnamon and nutmeg, the taste of the sweet treats that are fresh out of the oven, the beauty of the browns, oranges and golds, the sound of the whipping wind, and the warmth of your favorite blanket.

I personally kicked off this season last week when I bought some new candle scents for my home: granny's applie pie and pumpkin pie spice. (Jade is mesmerized by them. He actually stuck his paw in one of the flames the other day!) I further celebrated the season by making some pumpkin soup last night (thanks to a suggestion from my mom, who said EarthFare's version was awesome). I must admit that I'm a foodie and somewhat of a cooking snob. I don't like to follow recipes precisely, because in my mind, it's not mine if I strictly follow someone else's ideas. So, instead, I try to learn the basics from recipes and then venture out on my own a bit. A dash of cinnamon here, a squirt of honey there, some white pepper here, some chipotle pepper there... some more white pepper... how about a bit more... some more can't hurt... I wanna feel the burn! And then Goldilocks said, "This porridge is just right!"

Fall also represents sharing to me. I just can't cook a good meal or a yummy treat and not share it! I racked up a ton of brownie points in the office last year with all of the treats I made. My boss actually mentioned a couple weeks ago, "Hey, it's that time again! You're going to start bringing in treats and try to fatten us all up, huh?" I was kind today, however, because the soup that I carried in shouldn't be too bad (aside from all of the heavy cream in it).

It's this time of the year that makes me feel like a storybook granny at heart. Give me some yarn, a knitting needle, and a rocking chair, and I think I'd fit the mold quite well.

From my heart,

2006-10-23T11:01:00.000-05:00

Letting my guard down

What a wonderful weekend I had! I went to a "Worship Encounter" with worship leader David Baroni at church, had some fun lunch and dinner dates with friends, did a little bit of arts and crafts stuff at home... and still had time to watch Cold Case and do laundry last night! :)

And my weekend came to a perfect end during my quiet time with the Lord last night. I recently set up a cozy little spot in my spare room (a.k.a. Jade's room) where I can retreat to with the sole purpose of spending time with the Lord (since my bedroom makes me think of sleep and my couch makes me think of TV). I put the papasan chair in the corner with a floor lamp behind it, and the lamp shade is dark, so it creates a soft glow that perfectly sets the tone for winding down. Throw in my fuzzy pillow and blanket, a Bible and a journal, and I'm good to go.

I didn't realize until this morning, however, that sometimes when I go to my cozy corner to pray, I'm somewhat afraid. I never realized it before, but I remember thinking last night, "What if He doesn't show up?" I know that God isn't a feeling. I've walked with Him long enough to know that you don't always feel Him. But I'm at a place in my life now where I just really desire to feel His presence every day, to know that He's near me. I want to experience Him in a new way. And I realized, looking back on last night, that one of the reasons I don't always feel Him surrounding me is because I'm afraid that He won't show. I'm afraid of being disappointed. So sometimes I distance myself --subconsciously, really-- as a sort of defensive mechanism, I suppose.

But last night, as I curled up in my chair, I began to speak to Him from my heart, and I just told Him how much I loved Him. I let my guard down. And almost immediately, I could feel Him all around me. It was as if every time I told Him how much He means to me, He whispered back His love to me as well. Bringing Him a list of my needs doesn't draw Him like my love does. It was one of those precious moments that I never want to take for granted. I made up my mind today to always enter into my time with Him with expectancy from now on. And no fear. After all, what's to be disappointed in? He's never let me down.

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
-James 4:8

From my heart,

2006-10-18T09:22:00.000-05:00

Home sweet home

Next month will mark my two year anniversary of owning my townhome. And it seems like lately (the past couple of weeks, in particular) I've been keenly aware of what a blessing that is!

Owning my own home was always something I dreamt of as a young girl... perhaps because my mom was a realtor, and perhaps becauseI was always fascinated with interior design as a kid. I remember cutting out furniture, lamps and accessories from magazines and Sears and JC Penney catalogs and gluing it all together in my own "design" on construction paper. I also remember having this vision of a black and white bedroom with a few red accents (hey, it was the 80s). My mom let me have her Piggly Wiggly Greenbax stamps, and I saved them for months so I could buy the perfect accessory for my mantle (yes, I had a fireplace in my bedroom with a mantle... how cool is that?) -- two, very "mod," black ceramic cats. I never completed the black-and-white bedroom project, but I always had my mind on the visual design of things. Perhaps that's why I ended up loving graphic design so much.

Still, when it comes to my home, there are days when I look around and think to myself, "Is this really my home? Do I really own these things?" Last week it happened when I was unloading the dishwasher. I may be fixing myself a glass of water or brushing my teeth, when it hits me... I am so blessed! Some days I feel like I'm living in a dream. I'm so comfortable in my home. I love decorating it and coming up with new ideas on how to decorate the bathroom or spare bedroom. And I love sitting on the couch with Jade and just looking around, in silence, soaking it all in. It may sound like such a simple, everyday thing... but it's such a big deal to me. I love my home! I'm so grateful for it.

From my heart,

2006-10-17T08:44:00.000-05:00

Five for Five Meme

I was tagged by my friend, Mary, to do this meme! Enjoy!

1. Five minutes to yourself... houw would you spend them?

Resting on the couch with Jade (my cat)
Drinking a cup of hot tea with honey
Journaling
Daydreaming
Watching Giada de Laurentis or Michael Chiarello on Food Network

2. Five dollars to spend... how or where would you spend it?

A latte ("skinny"= with skim milk)
Fingernail polish
A good magazine
The "One Spot" at Target (all of those cute one dollar items)
Ice cream from Marble Slab!

3. Five items in your house that you could part with right now:

Dining room table and chairs
Old bath towels that don't match
The old suitcase laying in the spare bedroom that is now Jade's favorite toy
The toilet paper rolls that Jade has hidden under my bed (more toys)
The toaster oven that I never use

4. Five items you absolutely, positively could NEVER part with:

My Bible that fits perfectly into my purse
My old journals
Family photos
My guitar
My contacts!

5. Five words you love:

"For real" (I know, it's actually two words...)
Awesome
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Sweet
Thanks

2006-10-16T15:14:00.000-05:00

Girls just wanna have fun

... and we did!

This weekend I had the honor of attending my good friend (and carpool buddy) Beth's wedding. It was a blast! The ceremony was beautiful, the reception was breathtaking, and the entire evening was truly memorable. (For those of you who often hear me talk about my "work buddies," here they are to the left: Margaret, Beth, Mandy, and I at the wedding.)

You know, weddings can sometimes be discouraging events for single gals. (Please notice that I said can... in other words, they have the potential to be, if you let them.) There you are, watching your friends hold back tears as they exchange vows, watching them dance their first dance as a married couple, and then lovingly shove cake in each other's face. And it's very easy, amidst all of the joy of the event, to let jealousy creep in and listen to those negative voices in the back of your head that tell you, "Check another single friend off the list. Do you even have any left?" (All of my buds in the above photograph are married, by the way.) I must say that I have felt that way at a wedding or two in the past.

But, man, does feeling that way get old. Number one: I'm not there for myself. I'm there to celebrate with my friends for their joyous occasion, not my own. Number two: I've come to realize that I'm not on anyone's schedule--and no one's biological clock--except for God's. When it's my time, it will be my time. And until then, I'm going to rejoice with my friends who have been given the blessing of marriage at His appointed time for their lives! Weddings are way more fun (that sounded so "valley girl") when you're there for the right reasons and not to throw your own pity party. I had a blast at Beth's wedding! When everybody else was freezing (the reception was outside), I was burning up because I was burning up the dance floor (see photo below)! Hee hee! And I trust that when the Lord is ready to send my husband my way, I'll be ready too. And on that exciting day... I'm going to really dance! And after all of the weddings I've been to, I think I'll appreciate it so much more!

"A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul..." - Proverbs 13:19a

From my heart,

2006-10-12T13:34:00.000-05:00

Would a cake without any icing taste as sweet?

I won't lie. Today's been a "blah" day for me. I considered finding something fun to write about. I will be an optimist until I die, so I could have easily found something good to highlight, despite this drab mood I'm in. But I decided against it. If I only write my "happy thoughts," what kind of blog would this be? If I'm speaking from my heart, then I must be honest. So here it is: I feel like poo.

Emotionally and spiritually, I feel great. Physically and mentally, I'm drained. My back aches, my neck aches, I don't feel like exerting any mental energy towards anything, and if I could be anywhere right now, I'd be at home in bed. Phone turned off. Sadly, Jade is probably the culprit here. He woke me up at least half a dozen times last night -- licking my nose, repositioning himself (on my face, my shoulder, my chest). The crazy thing is that I didn't mind at all last night. Every time he woke me up, I couldn't help but hug him! He's just so stinkin' cute! But now I realize that I just didn't sleep well.

Despite the yucky way I feel right now, I'm still full of joy. I'm so glad that my world doesn't have to revolve around just the way I feel anymore. Feelings can't always be trusted, you know. They come and go, change on a whim, and are quite often unfounded and unreasonable. I've learned to not let them rule me. (I can't say I've perfected this art, but I'm learning.) So what if I feel like crap right now? The same things that excited me yesterday still hold true today. The cake is still there. I just don't have as much icing. But should I throw the whole cake out because it doesn't taste as sweet? Now, that would just be crazy (especially if it's red velvet)!

And the same goes with this day that the Lord has given me... I won't surrender to my feelings and say, "Forget it. It's just gonna be a bad day" and call it quits, when I know I have the power to control my feelings and let this be a good day, despite it all.

From my heart,

2006-10-10T21:15:00.000-05:00

Give and take

I recently started taking a Nia (Neuro Integrative Action) dance class at the MUSC gym downtown on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's a good workout, but it's also a lot of fun. It's a mix of jazz, martial arts and yoga-type dancing, and it all revolves around personal style and creativity. You follow an instructor, but you also dance "free style" based on which body part she tells you to focus on. The music is awesome, and it's a great way to end the work day. You really "shake it all off!"

Today, however, I found it difficult to "shake off" the migraine that had crept up earlier in the day. Although I felt a little better while I was dancing and exercising, the headache and nausea progressed after I left the class and prepared to head to my next stop, the Crittendon House for young pregnant girls (where I volunteer with other ladies from my church the second Tuesday of each month). I thought to myself once I got there, "You know, why didn't I call them and tell them I couldn't make it tonight? I feel like crap. I should have just gone home." I decided to go anyways, and I am so glad that I did. Even with the aid of Excedrin, my migraines typically don't go away quickly. A long nap and several hours are typically the only remedies for me. But once I got to the house and started chatting with the girls and painting their fingernails and toenails, I completely forgot about my migraine. Before I knew it, an hour and a half had gone by, we were packing up our stuff, and I realized it was gone. Completely! (That's a big thing for me, because, again, these things usually put me out for the night.)

You know, it never fails -- whenever I give of myself to benefit someone else, I always get something in return. My own personal gain is not the motivation behind why I give, but I always find that if I have a need, it's met because I sacrifice of myself. I'm not saying that I'm some Mother Teresa here or anything. Yeah, I still do my own things and have my selfish ways. But when I put my own needs aside and concern myself instead with someone else's, I learn that my needs are always met, almost simultaneously! It's really amazing how that works. Baffles me every time... but in a good way!

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever
sows generously will also reap generously." -2 Corinthians 9:6

From my heart,

2006-10-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

When God rang

I had the opportunity to teach the Young Adults class (ages 25-40) at church yesterday, and it was such a blessing! I must admit that I get a little nervous every time I teach this class (this was my third time). I always think to myself, "How am I, a 27-year old, going to teach people that are older than me?" I consider many of the students in this class mature, wise Christians. Some are married and have children... an area I obviously lack experience in! So my mind sometimes wonders, "What do I have to give?"

I decided give something that I know a little bit about. I taught on mentoring and shared my personal experiences, along with Biblical examples of mentoring relationships. I've been blessed with an awesome mentor and God has taught me so much through the course of our relationship, so I want the world (er, the class) to know that having a mentor is a gift that
God wants for each of His children! Well, the class went great, and I had a blast. Still, that thought still loomed in the back of my mind, "What am I doing, teaching these people that are so much more experienced than me? Are they even getting it?" I didn't stress myself over it though. The class ended, I packed up my stuff and headed into the sanctuary (after a quick donut and shot of coffee). I had done my part.

Around 3:00 p.m. that afternoon, while I was watching the tube and eating my version of PB&J (peanuts and raisins), my phone rang. One of the students from the class had called to tell me that the lesson really ministered to him, and he just wanted to let me know. The funny thing is that he was one of the people, in particular, that I thought wouldn't be able to learn anything from me! Isn't it amazing that the Lord loves me so much that He lead my dear brother in Christ to call me? It was like God himself picked up the phone to call and said, "Yes, my daughter, I believe in you, and you did your part. Well done." What a good Daddy He is! :)

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

From my heart,

2006-10-07T21:57:00.000-05:00

Bridget Jones gets whiplash.
My Saturday morning started out with whiplash.. no, I didn't get into a car accident or anything... I went to a great spa in West Ashley (Urban Nirvana) and had an hour-long massage called "the Whiplash." My neck and shoulders have been bothering me lately, so I decided to treat myself to a trip to the spa. Boy, was it worth it! When I looked at myself in the mirror after the massage, I laughed out loud because I looked drunk! Ha ha! Now that's a good massage!

You know, there are days like today when I truly appreciate this city of "Singletown" I live in. I won't lie -- I can't wait to meet my future husband and start a family one day. It's a desire of mine, and I'm looking forward to that time in my life. But I also realize that the day will come when an hour massage will have to be sacrificed because diapers, formula -- and maybe even a soccer uniform -- take precedence. So I've decided that while I'm single and I have the opportunity, I'm gonna milk this baby for all she's worth! Last night, for example, I took a hot date (myself, that is) to Marble Slab. (I even opened the door for myself! Hee hee!) And I treated myself to some creamy caramel ice cream with chunks of fresh banana mixed in. Then I came home and ate my ice cream, played my guitar, sang really loud and just had a blast. It was the best date I've been on in a long time... :)

You know, God's Word says in Ecclesiastes that there is a season for everything, a time for every purpose under heaven. And I thank Him for this season in my life: a time to enjoy my own company, pamper myself... and eat lots of Marble Slab!

From my heart,

2006-10-06T13:54:00.000-05:00

Baby got (Jetta) back

Big news, people, big news... (drum roll)... my Jetta is out of the shop and the front has officially been fixed! Most of you, my family and friends, know that I had a little run-in with a camouflage pole a while back. (Yes, I said camouflage... there's no other reason I would have hit it, right? It was well-disguised as "air.") Anyways, I got my sweet ride back from the body shop just hours ago, and let me tell you... she's a beauty! I've been seeing it in its mangled condition for so long that I forgot what it looked like in its normal state.

Well, this post doesn't have much heart, but let me tell you, it's an exciting day for me nonetheless! The only thing that could make it better would be... umm, let's see... sushi! I'm looking forward to having dinner with my good friend, Mary (my Red Cross buddy) tonight. She's always such a great sushi date! Happy weekend to all of my friends and fam!

2006-10-04T14:06:00.000-05:00

My work day today started off with a trip to Kiawah Island for a photo shoot. Getting out of the office for this "sit-at-a-desk-and-stare-at-a-computer-screen-eight-hours-a-day" girl was a real treat! Not to mention it involved driving under the beautiful live oak trees of Bohicket Road and taking in the sights of the island. Earlier that morning (as I was getting ready for my day), I had the Salvador song "When I Pray" in my head (here are links to both the lyrics and a song download).

This song perfectly explains how I feel so often... I look at the earth and all of the amazing things around me, and I just don't understand why God -- who created the earth -- would want to be so involved in my little life. In comparison to everything else, my life seems so minor. So I ask myself, "Does he really want to talk to me?" And yet I continue to find, over and over again, that the answer is "yes." But my human mind just doesn't get it! I feel like I'm a 13-year old girl, who has a crush on that dreamy, out-of-reach boy in my English class... and then I find out that he likes me, too! I get all nervous and my hands get sweaty when I see him walking over to talk to me, because all I can think is, "No way!!! Really?!" My God makes me feel like that girl. I just don't get it (and perhaps I'm not supposed to -- He's God, after all). It amazes me that He has the time (and Lord knows eNeRgY) for me, and that He just wants to be with me. Wow...

From my heart,

2006-10-03T15:34:00.000-05:00

My very first post... on my very first blog! And I can't think of what to write... too funny!

So here's a brief intro as to why I chose to start a blog... you know those days when you get on the phone with your friend or family member and you say, "Hey, what's going on?" -- "Not much, how 'bout you?" -- "Not much here either. Same ole, same ole." (When in all reality, there's usually a lot going on, but it's too much to say in a brief phone conversation. Or you can't think of what to fill them in about until after you hang up. Figures.)

Well, this blog is a fun and creative way for me to better answer that question of "what's going on," particularly in my mind and in my heart. I'm not trying to solve the world's problems here or anything. I'm just looking for a different way to communicate my thoughts, dreams and reflections on life. (And maybe throw in a good recipe every now and then.) So if you're interested in seeing what goes on inside this mind of mine, check back often... my goal is to post daily... no promises, though. :)

From my heart,

2006-10-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

Not really feeling the Jessica Alba and Christy Turlington matches (although I would love to have their cheekbones and well-defined jaw lines). I am, however, LOVING the fact that Grace Kelly is on the list! Woo hoo!